Monday, February 21, 2005

Control

Okay, so here is the deal - I know what I need to do now, thanks to the very intuitive mentoring by my oldest sis, and by God revealing through his word, through messages on the radio and through church.

Control.

Sounds simple, doesn't it? Yet something so simple seems to be so hard to release. He has given me all the tools I need - they are sitting there, waiting to be picked up. What in the world am I waiting for? Why am I so afraid to let go? I cried today, a miracle in itself, but it stopped there. R&R are growing fast, and my time frame is very short. How much more am I going to let myself suffer due to my fear?

I was once told I was a human doing and not a human being. Too true, unfortunately. Give me something to do, and I will do it. Ask me how I feel, and to experience something, emotionally, spiritually, and I will give you a blank stare.

Let's face it, God is in control, and until I come to grips with that, nothing will work.

Another nugget tossed to me this weekend, was that how you will approach your relationship with God depends on how you viewed your mother. Yikes - that explains a lot, as I always thought of Mom as too submissive and weak (that is what I used to think - not now.)

Praise God he is a God of endless chances.

1 Comments:

Blogger Twyla said...

Control can be a really tough egg to crack. Not that I know anything about dealing with control!! (ahem,cough,cough,sheepish shuffling of feet)
OK, maybe I have had a teeny, weeny bit of trouble with control. Be encouraged, though! Even though its tough, its not impossible. And even though it seems like some of us have to deal with an extra portion of this, everyone deals with it to some extent.

And don't forget the old instructions about eating an elephant. (one bite at a time) Love you!

2:37 PM  

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