Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Dark Tunnel

Every long journey involves some tunnels, doesn't it? Yet even the anticipation and knowledge of this doesn't take away from the shock of the darkness.

'Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.....'

Sudden changing of lanes, road construction, and automobile accidents are equally shocking to the system.

Heaviness of heart and soul, disappointment in myself, the passing of time - these are inevitable as a human being, but none the less no easier to bear. Yet, each time, these are a result of not doing the necessary preventative maintenance (i.e. reading and meditating on the Word, spending time with Him every day, confessing and repenting). How can I rebuke the Jews of the Old Testament for disobeying God over and over, when I do the same?

Why does He bother with me? A broken vessel like me? What do I have to give? Why can't I get it?

My soul is silently screaming "Help Me, Father!" He hears, but His timing is not ours.

I am going to pull over and send up some flares for SOS. If you see one, please send help ASAP.


Blogger Twyla said...

Tunnels used to really frighten me. I would get claustrophobic and have trouble breathing. Elevators and back seats in 2-door cars used to get me, too. Actually, the cars still do. But I have overcome the fear of elevators and tunnels. At a tunnel, I just take a deep breath and breathe steadily till its over. I keep my eyes peeled for the light at its end.
Did I ever tell you about being locked in the horse trough by Rick in Schaumburg? (growing up with Rick wasn’t always fun!) I was in there for awhile. It felt like a coffin. They found me when it was dinner and I didn’t come. Of course I didn’t tell - that would have been suicide! But I guess the claustrophobia came from that not so fun experience. My point being: negative experiences can cause the tunnels to seem overly challenging. The good news - this can be overcome! How? I only know that, with me, it seems to take repetition. There is a tunnel near me that I have to go through every time I go to see Josh. Its long – and it goes underwater. The knowledge that the ends close up automatically if there is ever a breach in the integrity of the tunnel doesn’t help! Going through this tunnel over and over has helped me conquer my fear. So, if it seems tunnels and other unexpected hardships plague you on your journey, they may have been sent for your ultimate, victorious freedom! I love the Scripture that says that God delivers us from the dread of evil. Evil comes in many forms, but we need not fear any of them.

10:08 AM  

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